I lost a little piece of my heart the day I left you on
the curb of the MTC . I remember my last words to you as I hugged
you for the last time. "If I let you go I will never get my little
boy back." I watched you walk down that sidewalk and wanted to
tackle you and keep you forever. For many months I cried when someone
said your name, when I saw missionaries walking down the road, and when I saw a
little boy with his mom. I never knew when the tears would come or what
would make them come. Hearing of your struggles made me feel so helpless
and sad that I could do nothing to resolve it. Holidays were never the
same without your sense of humor and funny antics. During family parties
I saw the void when nobody would wrestle the little cousins and make them
laugh. Over time I learned to love the Filipino
people and their love for life. I knew you were sent to this mission for
very precise reasons and specific people. Watching you grow from a boy to
a man made me swell with joy. As the time draws near I find the tears
are back again, I am so ready to hug you and have you home. I am also filled
with sadness to have this come to an end. So many lives were
changed because of your service and dedication. I am very grateful for
this time and will always look back on it with joy. The first year felt like
four years and the last year seems like a month. Next week will be your
last email, although I will miss our weekly email time I cannot wait to hug you
again. In two short years I sent out a little boy who will return a
man. I am sure our reunion will be wonderful and full of joy and
tears. I often think that a mission emulates our time on earth and our
reunion with our Heavenly Parents. As time comes to an end I will
leave a piece of my heart in the Philippines for the happiness it gave to you.
When you come down the escalator watch for me I will be waiting with
anticipation to hug you again. Love you forever and always mom
 |
| From a boy to a man |
Hello! I haven't gotten the package yet, there's rumors going around
that it got sent to the other E Williams in Tarlac (things like that
happen frequently here), but I'll probably get it at Zone Conference on Wednesday. this was an.. interesting week. You know how a few seconds goes by and we don't even notice it? thats how fast this week was. Truthfully I am a little bit excited to come home. But I'm also a bit scared because I don't know what to expect.
This week we had a ZLC/DLC meeting
in Cabanatuan and the coolest thing ever happened to me. President Martino
taught us about the Spirit and the Holy Ghost, and it was like what happened at
last ZLC. Again I felt like President was casting more pearls before swine. At
the end of the meeting he said "If you learn only one thing today, I hope
you at least know that we love you and your Heavenly Father loves you." As
soon as those words came out of his mouth, a feeling came over me that I cannot adequately
describe. It most certainly was a feeling of love, but... I've never felt
love like that before in my entire life. It's hard to explain, yet it almost
was a familiar feeling. The day after, (Wednesday), we had a Zone Training
Meeting in Guimba. The same afternoon we met a blind guy, he was super mabait.
I assume he's lived in the same house his whole life, because
kabisadong-kabisado niya ang lugar nila. He almost never took a misstep.
On Thursday, one of the old members
in our branch, Sister Bustos, had her birthday, so she invited the two of us
and the Fort's over for lunch. The same afternoon we visited the DeBelen
Family, and after listening to them and hearing about their problems, it makes
me wonder why. Frequently, I ask myself why everything is seemingly given to
me, and other experience problems and hardship their entire mortal existence.
Rarely through my entire life have I ever actually needed anything, and
frequently anything I even wanted was at my fingertips. People here struggle 24
hours a day and sometimes don't even have enough food to eat. And there's
nothing I can do about that.
We taught a guy last week, who
because of the amount of self-discovery and mediation books he owned, was
"blinded by the craftiness of men". We tried to explain to him
all he needs is the Book of Mormon, but he wasn't buying it. So while he talked
with E Cope, I picked up a book like I was interested, then hid the Book of
Mormon underneath it. Anyway this week we tried to go back but he wouldn't let
us in. Then as we walked away, his grandson chased us down the street and tried
to give us back the Book of Mormon, but we refused it. I told him it was
a gift and we didn’t want it anymore. Here's an excerpt from my journal this
week:
May 31, Friday
The idea of time means less and less
to me as I tumatagal in the mission. I noticed it most poignantly when we ate
dinner earlier at the same place we ate on Wednesday. The same people were
doing the exact same thing, and it was like two days flashed by in a second. I saw
the same blind guy wash the same dishes and countertops, the same old lady sell
the same ulam, and both Elder Cope and I sat in the same seats. Wala nang halaga
ang (no value) time. You know how a few seconds goes by and you don't even notice it? I mean,
its just over and it almost feels like it never happened? Try holding your
breath for 5 seconds. . . . . Didn't the time just pass by in an instant? It
wasn't a struggle, nor difficult, nor was it uncomfortable. This transfer,
entire DAYS have gone by just as quickly, and now my days truly are numbered. I
would give anything to make the days go by slower.
One more thing: Yesterday after
church we visited a kid in our ward, Dancyl, because he's going on a mission
soon and wants to work a few times before he leaves. So we got to his house and
they fed us spaghetti, and everyone ate but Elder Cope. (I finished my fasting
after lunch and he forgot until Saturday night). So iniinggit namin siya the
rest of the day because he was so hungry.
Next week will be the last email. It is pretty sad. I wonder if other people are this emotional about things like that. 2 years ago i just wanted to get the two years over and go back to
college but every week when I write President I beg for more time.
I have to go now. I love you!
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